Spoiler alert: It’s a wild ride.
Being an unmarried mom in India is like being the plot twist at the family reunion. Unexpected, controversial, and the source of endless gossip. But let me tell you, it’s also empowering, hilarious, and sometimes downright absurd.
From the aunties who think I’m a walking cautionary tale to the strangers who suddenly become life coaches, my journey has been nothing short of an emotional rollercoaster. And you know what? I’m here for it.
Here’s the unfiltered truth about what it’s like to raise a child in a society obsessed with “log kya kahenge” (what will people say).
Spoiler alert: people will say a lot. And most of it is nonsense.
So, let’s dive into what this journey really feels like because it’s not just about breaking stereotypes; it’s about acting in an unscripted movie, really. Total Chaos, but cosy like a Ghibli movie.
1. Society’s Favorite Hobby: Judging Me
The day I became an unmarried mom, I unknowingly signed up for society’s longest-running talent show: Judgment Olympics. Whether it’s aunties with X-ray stares or neighbours who suddenly discover a passion for investigative journalism, everyone seems to have an opinion about my life.
The theories? Wild.
• “She must’ve made a mistake.”
• “Was it a modern love marriage thing gone wrong?”
• “Is this one of those Netflix ideas?”
Meanwhile, I’m just trying to survive a day of toddler tantrums and remember where I left my sleep.
Initially, the judgment got to me. I’d catch myself overthinking everything. What I wore, how I spoke, even how I carried my child in public. But then I realised something profound: these people don’t pay my bills, they don’t raise my kid, and they definitely don’t deserve this much real estate in my head.
Now, I treat their opinions like spam emails. Delete and move on.
2. The Family Drama Chronicles
Convincing your family that you can raise a child as an unmarried mom is like trying to explain quantum physics to someone who still doesn’t trust the internet.
At first, there were dramatic sighs, a few tears, and a lot of, “But what will our relatives think?” One uncle even declared, “This is the worst thing to happen to our family!” (Relax, Ramesh. The worst thing is your karaoke at weddings.)
Over time, though, my family started seeing the light. When they realised my child wasn’t some mythical symbol of rebellion but an adorable little human who loves mangoes and Peppa Pig, their attitudes began to soften. These days, even my most dramatic aunt sends me “Good morning” WhatsApp messages with inspirational quotes about motherhood. Progress.
3. Breaking Stereotypes Like a Pro
If I had a rupee for every stereotype I’ve smashed, I’d be lounging on a private beach by now. The biggest myth? That unmarried moms are irresponsible or somehow less capable.
Let me tell you something: I run a one-woman show over here. I juggle work deadlines, school projects, and bedtime stories like a pro. I’ve learned to assemble IKEA furniture, bake last-minute cupcakes for school events, and decode toddler logic, all without a partner.
And no, my life isn’t tragic. In fact, it’s full of love, laughter, and more chaos than a Bollywood wedding. Sure, it’s not the “ideal” setup, but it’s ours, and it works beautifully.
4. The Financial Balancing Act
Let’s talk about money because raising a kid isn’t exactly budget-friendly. School fees, doctor’s appointments, toys, books… it all adds up faster than my grocery list during mango season.
But if there’s one thing being a single mom has taught me, it’s how to budget like a boss. I’m the queen of cashback offers, discount codes, and preloved finds. Need a Halloween costume? I’ll DIY it with cardboard and tape. Fancy new toys? How about we play with pulses instead?
I’ve also learned the fine art of saying no. “No, we don’t need that overpriced gadget.” “No, we’re not buying candy today.” (Okay, sometimes I give in to the candy because I’m human too and honestly i want it more than my daughter…)
5. The Legal Acrobatics Show
If navigating Indian bureaucracy is like climbing Everest, doing it as an unmarried mom is like climbing Everest with both hands tied behind your back.
Every form seems to assume you’re part of a two-parent household. Birth certificates, school admissions, bank documents, they all come with the dreaded “Father’s Name” section. My response?
“None of your business.”
I’ve had to explain my situation to countless officials, some of whom respond with awkward stares and others with genuine curiosity. It’s frustrating, yes, but it’s also taught me resilience and creativity.
I had to fight in the Mumbai high court to get the birth certificate for my daughter. It was the typical tareek pe tareek situation and after three and a half years, my daughter got her birth certificate with the father’s details blank before she turned four years old.
I still get nightmares from that time.
Pro tip: always carry extra documentation. You never know what random piece of paper they’ll demand next.
6. The Joy That Makes It All Worth It
Here’s the thing no one tells you about being an unmarried mom: the joy outweighs everything else. Sure, society might throw curveballs your way, but nothing compares to the pure happiness of watching your child grow.
From their first words to their endless questions (“Why is the sky blue?” “Can I eat ice cream for breakfast?”), every moment is a reminder of why I chose this path. My child doesn’t care about societal norms, she just wants hugs, bedtime stories, and the occasional chocolate treat.
And let’s be real, there are perks to doing this solo. I don’t have to argue with anyone about parenting decisions. Want to skip the fancy birthday party and do a movie night instead? Done. The cake’s leftovers? All mine.
7. Changing the Narrative, One Step at a Time
Thankfully, the world is slowly catching up to the fact that families don’t all look the same. Movies, books, and social media are starting to showcase stories like mine, and people are realizing that being a mom isn’t about marital status, it’s about love and showing up every day.
I’ve also noticed a shift in how younger generations think. They’re more accepting, more open-minded, and far less interested in “log kya kahenge” than their parents were. It gives me hope that my child will grow up in a world that values love over labels.
8. My Message to Fellow Unmarried Moms
To every unmarried mom out there: You are a superhero.
Yes, it’s tough. Yes, people will judge. But you know what? You’re raising a tiny human, and that’s no small feat.
Forget the aunties, the gossipers, and the people who think they know your life better than you do. Lean on your support system, find your tribe (even if it’s an online group of other single moms), and don’t be afraid to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Some days will be hard. Some days you’ll question if you’re doing it right. But then your child will hug you, or draw you a stick figure portrait with “World’s Best Mom” scrawled underneath, and you’ll realize you’re doing just fine.
9. Motherhood, Redefined
Being an unmarried mom in India is like being handed a script for a drama and turning it into a comedy. It’s messy, chaotic, and unpredictable but it’s also beautiful, fulfilling, and filled with laughter.
At the end of the day, motherhood isn’t about societal expectations. It’s about love, resilience, and the endless adventures of raising a child. Whether it’s surviving school drop-offs, navigating bureaucratic mazes, or just finding time to breathe, every step of this journey is worth it.
So, here’s to all the unmarried moms out there. May we continue to break barriers, shatter stereotypes, and raise kids who know that families are built on love, not labels.
And to everyone else? Let’s retire the judgment and embrace the idea that motherhood comes in all shapes, sizes, and situations. Because at the end of the day, a happy child is all that matters.
Cheers to the wild, wonderful, and slightly chaotic ride that is unmarried motherhood. You’ve got this, and so do I. Let’s keep rewriting the rules, one laugh at a time.
With love,
Harshala🧸💖
